In Praise of the Brussels Sprout
I used to hate Brussels sprouts. In fact, I downright loathed them. How in the world anyone could willingly consume this abhorrent little excuse for a cabbage was beyond me. Its very appearance defies botanical logic, for when you gaze upon the Brussels sprout you are actually looking at the decapitated head of a plant from the mustard family. My mom could have been steaming a stinkweed, for all I knew. Boiling hot water and Brussels sprouts—definitely a combination to avoid or you may find yourself trying to remove your own olfactory nerve with a dull butter knife.
But then, one day, I had an epiphany: a bizarre yet brilliant culinary suggestion popped into my head pertaining to the combination of the Brussels sprout and the seldom-used aromatic fennel seed. I have learned not to question these revelations, but to submit. And so, to the store I went.
I was on a mission. I made my way to the produce aisle and perused the sea of greens. What a curious little compact ball of vegetation is the Brussels sprout, packed by the pound in a little mesh bag. The bag is a lovely shade of purple, a perfect complement to the bright verdure of its contents. With bag in hand, I strode bravely to the checkout line and made my purchase.
Following is the preparation instruction that will lead you to discover that the Brussels sprout is a delicacy disguised as a diminutive cabbage. Throw caution to the wind, roll up your sleeves, and prepare for greatness.
Elements:
Half pound of Brussels sprouts (smaller, compact heads, free of black spots)
1-3 cloves of garlic, chopped (or garlic powder, for more sensitive constitutions)
2-3 T. Extra Virgin Olive Oil (as dark as it gets)
Approx. 1 tsp. Whole Fennel Seeds
Salt
A stellar baguette (don’t give me the “I’m on a diet” crap—it’s worth it)
Prep:
Peel a few outer layers of the leaves off each sprout. Cut off the white base, and slice each sprout in half, top to bottom, like you’d slice an apple in half. Set aside. Peel each garlic clove and cut the bottom end off. Either slice the cloves or smash them with the side of the chopping knife. Coarsely chop and set aside (don’t make the pieces too small or they’ll burn). Crush the fennel seed using a mortar and pestle to prevent biting down on any whole seeds. If you don’t have a mortar and pestle, you can put the seeds in a bag and crush them with a hammer, I suppose. Set them aside.
Cook:
Heat the olive oil in a skillet over med-high heat for about 20 seconds. Add the Brussels sprouts, cut side down, to the oil. A few of the leaves may fall off in the pan, which is totally fine. Don’t remove them—they’ll cook up nice and crispy. When the sprouts start to sizzle, reduce heat a little. Sprinkle fennel seed over sprouts. Add the garlic (if using powder, sprinkle to taste), a stir a little, trying to keep the sprouts on their cut side. Cover skillet for about 3 minutes, which will help sprouts cook through faster.
Uncover, stir a bit, and keep cooking until the bottoms of the sprouts start to get brown and crispy. Keep an eye on the garlic—don’t let it burn! When the sprouts look sufficiently caramelized and crispy, they’re done. Pour the whole works into a bowl and salt liberally. Use the baguette to sop up the extra olive oil. You may want to toss back a glass of your favorite wine with it for extra enjoyment.
I made this last night and I actually had to use garlic powder because, to my great horror, I discovered during preparation that I was out of fresh garlic. Oh the humanity! But it was still a delectable dish. I had a religious experience while consuming it.
Even if you’re certain you’ll never like this recipe, try it anyway. You never know…you, too, might fall prey to the siren song of the Brussels sprout.
